I'm starting to hate my new year. I've changed in a way of my personal expressions and my best frinds are drifting farther and farther apart from me because of it. I always saw my life this way, but never really wanted to except the fact that I thought so different about things. My music is out of me and my unique choice of how I use it. I did have one person that knew evetything about how I thought and felt towards new things, the very person whole gave me this gift and knowledge, but now there gone in a way that I want them so badly. The last time I had told them of my pain, anger, frustration, and my loneliness I gave him this poam that most I wrote myself and some I heard on a song:

You shot your mouth off
like you were scared to have a heart.
You lost grip of what really mattered
cause you didn't know were to start

The things you were so in tune with
with what you said you hate.
You woke the very next day
with no way or reason to communicate.

The only laugh that you had left
was hiding from your pain.
What's giving you the will to live?
But now, what do you have to gain?

What must've happen to your soul
is skinnin you alive.
The thing you fear the most is love
and that's buried deep inside.

The heart you're building out of rock,
it's turning in to sand,
cause you never took the time to think
of what it really means to be a man.

I've been to where your coming from
only that the scares weren't as bad.
All I can think about now is
how long should I have to be mad.

Mad at the reason
and mad at the lie,
but mostly for the reson
that made me want to cry.

Sometimes in the night, I fear I dreamed you
dreamed my life hopeless, barren, and gray,
that friends were strangers and enimeies will win
but I rise to meet another day.

You acted like you had all the answers
when the questions were never asked.
How nieve I was to think
that you were going to change the past.

The knife I carrys been sharpened
upon all the mouths that wouldn't keep shut.
I was stabbing you in the darkness
cause I was tryin to shed some light.

But your point-of-view was so meaningless
(if you ever had one at all)
All you seemed to care about
was when it was all going to fall.

But then theres the reason why I don't hate you
not a lot or even a little bit to call.
For the cause that made me fall for you.
For the reason you found me at all.